Royal Society of Marlovia

The First 2019 Marlovian Political Debate took place last night, broadcast to fifty million viewers, though nobody actually watched it. While of course the Leaders of the Parties are Colonel Abuthnot, Lord Athlon and Raymond Donaldson, in 1895, an act was passed to create more diversity among the political candidates. Each party member has a female equivalent. This debate between Miss Fairfax and Miss Cardew for the position of Female Premier occurred at Miss Cardew's house over some food. The debate was overseen by a butler. Faturday Night Live attempted to parody the debate, but were irrelevantly gored by a passing rhinoceros. The campaign poster.

The Liberty Party's Leader, Colonel Henry Abuthnot, murdered several members of his family (his wife and two children) several weeks ago. He was condemned to five thousand years in prison, but the sentence was shortened by a full stop. He was released from prison on Monday. As he left, he was approached my a large mob of shady-looking gangsters, who appeared to be proposing a political coalition. It was, however, announced yesterday that the Liberty Party would be merging with the unpopular (but still with an amount of popularity large enough to be alarming) Death Party, run by the 'evil' Baron Boar. From now on, this new party shall be known as the Death and Liberty Party. Several other names, such as Death is Liberty, or Liberty is Dead, were proposed. Deathly Berty (Deathliberty) was also suggested, but ultimately rejected in case the party was sued by Deathly Bert, a well-known outlaw.  Baron Boar at the University for Anthropology, Drama and Osteology. ...

No photographer has actually taken a picture of General Hid's face, apart from one who Hid sued for libel. General Harrison Hid, a wealthy and influential motivational speaker, has recently founded the United Rebellion Party. He believes that the government should initiate more rebellions, and maybe even some revolts. He is also strongly against the privatization of revolutions. "When the government starts a rebellion and then sells it privately to some revolutionary businessman looking for a way to make money, it's impossible for poor people to afford to join in the revolution, which really just defeats the point of the whole thing. Once some workers tried to rebel against the state, but ended up selling the whole revolt to a textile factory. The government, of course, should not have too much control over the way the revolution is run, because then the common people have to follow, under pain of legal prosecution, a set way of rebelling." General Hid will be r...

A bright light temporarily blinded some people in the audience and caused epileptic fits in others. THE CONCERT: Last Tuesday, a band played at the town hall in a wild, uninhabited, tropical jungle in South America. Despite being advertised as featuring the hugely popular artist Kopai Luwak and his band the Volkswagen Beatles (which gave it full house), the audience members were in for a surprise. As soon as the music started playing, it was revealed that Kopai Luwak had nothing to do with the event and that it had merely an advertising ploy. Instead, the concert was performed by the obscure and little-known band known as Mr. Daphne and the Handy Bullock Men. When audiences asked for their money back, they were directed to the Refunding Office which was located somewhere in a back alley of Melbourne, Australia. Sometime during the interval, the town hall containing the stage and audience was demolished. Special Music Critic Correspondent reports: The concert was something of a me...

MARLOVIAN NEWS: The hippo in question, outside the Underground. A woman on a packed Marlovian train has caused uproar after refusing to move her twenty-ton pet hippopotamus off a seat for other passengers. Video footage shows the woman screaming at passengers who had asked the lady to remove the hippopotamus. A security guard is also heard reporting the "unruly passenger". "It is already a late train, and you are delaying everybody with your pachyderm," one man said to the lady, to which she responded that she didn't care. "If you are not disabled, if you are not pregnant, I don't give a f-----------z------ck," she said. "I don't want your bedbugs, I don't want your smell, you're disgusting. Me and my odd-toed ungulate are going to sit here because we were here first and hippos are endangered anyway so there." When a fellow passenger pointed out hippos are even-toed, not odd-toed, ungulates, she gave a loud shriek, ...

The film studios of Marlovia were first created in the early twentieth century, but they continued from previous theatre companies and shows. The "Big Six" Studios (Whistler Studios, Silvermetre Studios, Behemoth-Leviathan Pictures, Gorgon's Head Films, Megatherium-Olivier, Cat-a-mountain Pictures). They are all part of the Rafovia-And-Marlovia Studio Film Company (RAM Studios, as it is often known). From about the 1860s to the 1880s, there was a decline of public interest in theatre. Major theatres of Marlovia, such as the Old McNeil (formerly the Old Whistler), had to do something fast - and quickly. The Marlovian Entertainment Industry Corporation was formed. The six founders were Andrew McNeil (of the Old McNeil Theatre), Christopher de Agis (of the Aegis Theatre), Oliver Olivier (of the Olivier Circus), Jochur Linxs (of Lynx the Magician), Edgarward Job, (of the Theatre du Fauves) and Bellepheron Lewis (of the famous "Astronomy Show" in which one peered t...

Today we look at the interesting variety of ways Marlovians 'bury' their dead. Who would guess that below these waters lurk dead bodies? Hydrosepultics.  In the early 19th century, Sir Thomas Vair, Undertaker Laureate, decided he disliked the formaldehydical ceremonies of literal burial under the ground in a graveyard, and he didn't care for cremation either. So he then became the "father of hydrosepultics". He came up with the idea that once a person died, they could be buried in some kind of water. The various kinds of hydrosepultics are: Mortality Pools (a large swimming pool underneath which are an assortment of dead bodies), Fountain Graves (a large fountain is erected on top of where a body has been buried instead of just a gravestone), Corpse Tanks (the corpses are put in large tanks or bowls filled with water and taken home with their loved ones to keep), River Graves, (people are buried along the river bank) and Burials at Shark-Infested Seas (you ca...

Cover of Pubic Eye #339 (January). The cover depicts (from left to right): Colonel Abuthnot, Bigly Raffuk and Raymond Donaldson.  The January Issue of the satirical magazine 'Pubic Eye' came out a few days ago. However, the magazine was then sued by the terrorist and Rafovian politician, Bigly Raffuk, who, with his associate Gerald the Dog, blew up the Royal Marlowe Airport last month. The magazine called Raffuk a "mass murderer" several times, which Raffuk says is "unjust" and "unfair". "It's just...unjust," he told reporters today. "And unfair," he added. "Alright, so I killed three thousand people. But that's no reason for a popular magazine to suddenly call me a mass murderer . I mean, really. It's abusive and based on exaggerated accounts of my actions. I'm not trying to justify what I did - I just think it's malicious to say I'm a murderer. Okay?" The cover of the magazine claims th...

Raymond Donaldson is pleased with his final major declaration of war while in office. The Prime Minister Raymond Donaldson, right before the General Election he is almost certain to lose, rashly and spitefully declared war on Rafovia, so his successor will be left with an unfortunate mess on his hands. Marlovia has, for the past few decades, tried to continue a peaceful relationship with Rafovia (mainly because the latter is more powerful than the former), but this relationship has been unfortunately wrecked. Donaldson told the press in a conference with them today that he was feeling rather satisfied about such a catastrophic way of finishing his term of office. "If I don't lose the election I'm going to resign anyway," he said. "I only wanted to be Prime Minister so I could get a lordship." The Minister for Warfare, Mr. Gorgon Hatter - a feeble, small, mild-mannered, faint-hearted man - merely made a nervous squeak when questioned about the subject. ...

The Liberty Party, although seemingly quite a recent party, in fact traces its roots back to an ancient Hyperborean tribe, which became an aristocratic family, then a political party with extreme left-wing views, and now the centre-left major party it is today. The Dragons of the East. The Seri Tribe was once part of the great Hyperborean Great Tribe, known as the Drerkotestek, or "Dragons of the East", from East Hyperborea. Their dragon symbol came from this. The Dragons of the East were said to be descended from the Hyperborean god Estek, one of the four major male gods of the Northern Mountains. The Seri Tribe. The Seri Tribe got their name from the Marlovian word "Ser" meaning "keep". The Seri were "keepers". There are theories to how this name came about - maybe they kept a special object, or secret, or were goalkeepers when playing football. The main theory is that they hoarded things - thus their symbol of a dragon. They followed the M...