Royal Society of Marlovia

MORE TROUBLE IN THE AIRPORT. After the Royal Marlowe Airport, of international fame, was destroyed yesterday by a homemade bomb created from a rubber duck and an alarm clock painted bright pink, the rest of Marlovia’s airports are squabbling over the position of most visited Marlovian airport like a pack of megalosaurs.  Edwardcolumn Airport, in an attempt to gain publicity and popularity, paid unpopular celebrities to insult it on social media. As a result, it is now in a position to take over as the most used airport in Marlovia.  Arkrick Airport, which likes to call itself the “oldest airport in the country” (according to itself, it dates back over two thousand years), attended the funeral of the Royal Marlowe Airport on Sunday, and said a few words about their relationship. “R.M. was always cheerful, always happy,” Arkrick recalled, “and never a dull moment.” Javekey Airports, which is more a chain of small airports than one big one, claims to be the newest a...

THREE RAFOVIANS TRY TO BLOW UP THE ROYAL MARLOWE AIRPORT. Recently in Marlovia, the Royal Marlowe Airport arrested several suspicious Rafovians who were caught depositing what looked like a rubber duck stuck to a bright pink alarm clock, in one of the bins. They claimed that it was merely what it looked like - a rubber duck stuck to a bright pink alarm clock. This bizarre item was examined by highly respected individuals who happened to be experts on rubber ducks stuck to bright pink alarm clocks. After a close inspection, it was discovered to be a home-made bomb - made from nothing except a rubber duck and a bright pink alarm clock. “It is hard,” said Professor Gumpworthy, one of the experts, “exceedingly hard, to assemble an explosive device by simply combining a rubber duck and an alarm clock - and especially hard if the alarm clock is bright pink. But these Rafovians showed great initiative and intelligence - they managed to do it.”  The guilty Rafovians were soon reve...

A summing up of January 2019, in Marlovia... The first compiled list of the many, many Marlovian parliamentary constituencies is created, though it is unfortunately incomplete. The political parties involved in the 2019 General Election start their campaigns.    Colonel Abuthnot, Liberty Party Leader and former Prime Minister, murders his entire family with Herculean ease, while his other relatives all die in accidents. Kilroy Sharpe speaks in Parliament in a vain attempt to explain National Progressive Republicanism, his own political ideology. General Hid of the United Rebellion Party runs for officer for the first time.     Rafovian politicians apprehended trying to blow up Royal Marlowe Airport. Those who recovered the bomb forgot to deactivate it.  The Royal Marlowe Airport is now destroyed. Its funeral was held on Sunday. Edwardcolumn, Arkwick, Javekey and Wodeplaine Airlines all want to take over as Marlovia’s biggest, best, most famous ...

Today we look at the five other ones - including some new ones! Welcome to the second part of this election’s “Meet the Candidates” series. The series, which runs every election on this site, has been called “a hilarious menagerie” and “a freak show”. It has been so popular, in fact, that it has caused more people to enter politics in the hope of appearing in the series. Last time, we examined four candidates for the office of Prime Minister of MARLOVIAN: Colonel Arbuthnot, Lord Athlon, Sir Daniel Edinburgh and the Baron Boar. Raymond Donaldson. Raymond Terence Donaldson, who, according to popular rumour, was born to the lowly couple of an earthworm and a slug, has risen from his humble origins and is now the Leader of the Workers Party - and the current Prime Minister of Marlovia. He entered politics after winning millions in the lottery. He is the member of parliament for Donalsmith. Despite holding the official title of “Champion of the Working Man”, Donaldson is known for...

Colonel and Lady Abuthnot prior to the murder of the latter by the former. Last week, an interesting story emerged. It was revealed by the Liberty Party in an official statement that Colonel Lord Henry Abuthnot, the party's Leader (and the former Prime Minister) had recently (at an unspecified date) murdered his entire [immediate] family. In interviews and at press conferences, he has given some idea of how he went about murdering his family. "I... came down to breakfast, and I saw Mary [my wife] sitting there at the table. She said... 'Hello, Henry dear, do you want some tea?' And you know, the way she said it.... it just made me want to do something violent. So I picked up the kettle, which had tea in it, smashed it against the wall, and slammed the jagged edges into her head," Colonel Abuthnot was reported to have supposedly said, apparently according to certain possible sources, maybe. The Colonel then went on to go into his son's bedroom, and say, ...

As usual, the yearly Marlovian general election is coming up. But who really ARE the candidates? Colonel Lord Abuthnot. Lord Henry Abuthnot, a Colonel of the Order of the Walrus, is the leader of the Liberty Party, and has been for some time. He was once Prime Minister. Unlike most former Prime Ministers, he did not commit suicide. He did not give up. He recently murdered his entire family, but this was due to emotional stress, and the doctors deemed it perfectly natural. Shortly after this incident, the Death Party approached him in hope of a coalition. Arbuthnot accepted, and is currently allied with the aforementioned Death Party. He is the Member of Parliament for Londinium. He wishes to reinstate Londinium as the capital city instead of the latest one, Marloweborough. He was recently granted a lordship and a coat of arms, which you may view in the Museum of Natural Heraldry. Picture: Colonel Lord Abuthnot broods over the deaths of his wife and children. According to rumno...

https://tools.wmflabs.org/parliamentdiagram/svgfiles/2019-01-14-15-51-28-420559-8090500402276154162.svg With an imminent election, we must be ready to vote. But which parliamentary constituency do you belong to? And will voting really help you at all? Well, let’s see which parliamentary constituency you belong to. Our parliamentary experts have compiled a useful list. It is not actually complete, but it will be updated in the future. Alamy, Tabloham. NORTHWEST. Botany, Wicklow. SOUTHEAST. Botopodun, Jesuntshire. SOUTHWEST. Burltbridge, Greater Peckerdisct. NORTHEAST. Copthorne, Greater Cynthia. EAST CENTRAL. Crystaldum, Debinshire. NORTHEAST. Cynthia, Greater Cynthia. EAST CENTRAL. Depuncton, Jesuntshire. SOUTHWEST. Donalsmith, Donalshire. NORTHEAST. Donelswith, Donalshire. NORTHEAST. East Athlon, Athlon. SOUTHEAST. East Barville, Barvilleshire. WEST CENTRAL. East Oxbridge, Oxbridgeshire. SOUTHEAST. Eternal Damnation, Dammnaton. WEST CENTRAL. Flovorack, Magnumshire. EA...