Royal Society of Marlovia

Today, the Chinese satellite that was going to crash down somewhere on Earth has changed its course and has instead crashed into Marlovia, on a small farm. The only surviving thing was a recording machine, still playing. When we played back the recording, it went like this: 1st Voice: Sam! Sam! There's a gigantic machine thing coming towards us out of the sky! 2nd Voice: Hahaha! Great April Fools Day Joke, Emily! 1st Voice: But it's o — At this point there is a huge crashing, thudding, explosive noise. Then silence. Raymond Donaldson, the Prime Minister has visited the site of the accident. Looking on the bright side of this situation, he has announced that he's decided to take advantage of the situation to build a large factory on the site to produce table legs. The money from the products will go to Donaldson Enterprises Ltd.

A typical Waxing Gibbous, often mistaken to be a full moon. Tonight, a full moon is in the sky and werewolves are coming out. It might actually be just a Waxing Gibbous, but werewolves don't really care about those sorts of details. If they think it's a full moon, it is a full moon, and whoever argues with them will get a pentagram on their hand. Today, the reporter for the Rodent's Gazette, which, strangely, is run by a large mouse with a green suit and glasses, interviewed a keeper of the wolf exhibit at Londinium Zoological Gardens. Reporter: So, Mr. - er - er - Keeper: My name is Jeff. I work in a button factory. One day - Reporter: I thought you worked at the zoo. Keeper: Oh - er - yeah, that too. Reporter: I understand that one of your wolves have escaped, Jeff? Keeper: Yeah. He's called Berserker. He escaped before, in 1897. He was supposed to escape again in 1931, but you know how the film's never really faithful to the book... Reporter: What? Um...

The famous Easter Egg Roll is coming up. World leaders from all over the world are coming to see The famous Easter Egg Roll is coming up. World leaders from all over the world are coming to see  President D.J. Trump with Melania Trump, Barron Trump and the Easter Bunny. it, and today it will be hosted by Donald Trump it, and today it will be hosted by Donald Trump.  Last year it was hosted by Theresa May, and before that it was hosted by Clement Atlee. And before that was Jacinda Arden with her husband Alec Douglas-Home. The first one ever was hosted by Steve Bloggs, Bill Gates, Anne Fine and Louis the Sun King. These world leaders travel to the Palific World through teleport made by Gadget World, which President Trump is offering to buy for a sum of $2 billion dollars. The President starts the fox hunt in Windsor Gardens. Donald Trump has a political discussion with a few of the world leaders (from left to right: Harold Wilson, Robert Walpole, Barack...

Earl Viscount, 137th Prime Minister of Marlovia and all the Isles Around It. During the Palific World War (the first one) the Prime Minister of Marlovia was Earl Viscount, from 1916-1919. He led Marlovia in a heroic way throughout the war. He was then assassinated by Lynon S. Lynton, his deputy Prime Minister (and his successor as PM). The Liberty Pary won its first victory against Lynton and Andrew Caughton-Bush became Prime Minister.  He was followed by several others. About 8 Prime Ministers later, Lord Ernest St. August became Prime Minister. His grandfather was also Prime Minister, and so was his great-great-great-grandfather. Lord Ernest St. August, the third St. August to be Prime Minister (147th PM, 1934-1935). Andrew Caughton-Bush, 139th PM (1922- 1923).

Today is the 155th birthday of Julian H. Summer, who was the President of Gadget World and the designer of Gadget World 2. Although Julian H. Summer is 155 today, at the age of 72 he had himself frozen in time as the first person to test out his new machine the Retadator. This currently costs two million dollars to use. He has still not been woken up yet. He was born in Gadget World, then Gadget Island, to a Hyperborean immigrant, Henrik Cumek Latko and his wife Lukia Frutik, one of the famous Frutik Sisters. His father was a mechanic, and young Julik Henrik Latko Frutik Cumek (as he was then) went to Gadget Island School for Engineering. He later won the Sir Archibald Machiner Award for his machine the Hyperborean Tillbringa. He then invented the Josephine Mark 1, an early robot (named after his daughter). He was made President of Gadget Island in 1927. It went from Gadget Island to Gadget World under him, and he made designs for a second Gadget World, but was put into the...

Oxford United has completed yet another marvellous season, winning the Premier League for the hundred-and-second time running, beating Leicester City 100-1. Some say that some oxen found the body of Richard III in a carpark and dug him up, making Oxford United win the League. Note:  This story is actually copied from a book about some foxes by Michael Morpurgo, but I'm sure it doesn't matter as we have the same initials anyway.

Hello. Today the Royal Society of Marlovia has agreed to show some important ads due to their significance, usefulness and skill at blackmailing people to do things. Here they are: Wilhelm II's Life Insurance Regular Jims One Off Mowing... The Nurdles Please apply to Nurdletown for more information. Jims Jims Jims Jims Jims Jims Jims Jims Jims Mowing A fabulous life insurance policy.

A flooded house in Jorvikshire. It has been quite rainy recently, with large bouts of water  coming in, and also some rain. There has been flooding in Northern Marlovia, and the famous mountain Mt. Marlowe has collapsed from overdose of paracetamol. In the South, however, the Spring buds are blooming. I am glad to announce that the Groundhog has recently died of a heart attack after spotting his shadow.

Today on St. Patrick's Day the Annual Meeting of the Leprechaun Organisation took place, which mainly consisted of the leprechauns discussing how to get rid of gnomes who built large railway tracks. The meeting was interrupted by police official who had discovered it was this organisation who was responsible for the brief loss of the Royal Gnome during June last year (see  https://marlovia.blogspot. co.nz/2017/06/royal-gnome-found-missing.html ). It is also a special day for the Royal Family of Marlovia, as it is the birthday of Prince Mike of Astel, the King's uncle. The Royal Family has Irish roots, being descended from the Kearneys, Hustons and Tolands.

The main Prime Minister of the nineteenth century was Wilfred Howard Daft, with fourteen terms between 1868 and 1881. He succeeded Sir James Velt of the Perries. Daft was an important figure in the Velt War (started by Sir James Velt and his cousin Robert Velt the President of Orr). Daft died on the 8th of March 1888, and forever after the country of Marlovia held "International Daft Week" despite the fact that they were the only nation that celebrated it. Yesterday was the last day of this week.

Lord Ernest St. August, our first P.M. This week we look back at our past Prime Ministers, from Lord Ernest St. August to Wilfred Howard Daft, from Edgar Winser to Ned Westmore, and from Colonel Abuthnot to Raymond Donaldson (a short gap between the last two). During the 1500s there was a rebellion against the King. Both sides were evenly matched, partly because they were both using the same weapons from Gadget World (the original). In the end, the King's side (known as "Nobs") made an agreement with the rebels (known as "Perries") that the King would have a collection of advisers (or ministers) from each side who would help govern the country. The people of Marlovia would vote for the primary one, or Prime Minister. However, this last rule wasn't introduced until the 1700s, due to the fact that the King's Ministers were always disagreeing and needed someone to lead them. The first Prime Minister was the son of one of the most famous "Nobs...

Yesterday, the very famous scientist Stephen Hawking died. In fact, his mind was transported to the Marlovia in another universe where it turned a gigantic baby watching the Earth.

As the first weeks of Spring appear (and with them the upcoming event of the King's Birthday Holiday) the weather looks rainy and cold, as if Winter is still lingering. They are bringing on a groundhog to decide the weather this week. They can't rely on weather forecasters any more. Oh no. Now they rely on stupid animals who are scared of their own shadow. We weather forecasters aren't accurate enough, are we? Who decides the weather anyway? Groundhogs don't, I know that much. M arlovia  Thursday 7:00 PM (Average Weather throughout Marlovia). Light Rain Showers 18 °C  |  °F Precipitation:  47% Humidity:  88% Wind:  5 km/h 18 17 17 16 16 18 20 21 19 18 17 16 17 20 23 22 19 19 19 18 18 19 21 21 19 19 18 18 18 21 22 22 21 19 19 18 18 21 22 22 21 19 18 18 18 20 22 22 20 18 18 17 17 19 22 22 20 18 17 17 16 19 21 21 19 17 17 16 16 18 21 21 19 17 16 16 16 18 20 21 19 17 17 16 16 18 21 21 19 18 17 17 17 19 21 21 20 18 18 17 17 19 21...